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Uncovering laughter, joy and sanity in everyday life.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

"Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes, they forgive them"

I'd like a sign to wear when I go out in public that says: Foster Mother, Don't Judge. 
I'm mostly embarrassed that someone might mistake my child's misbehavior for my DNA.

Looking at pictures the other day, staring at the past. I reconfigured some framed photos recently.
Wanted a mother or husband to hold me while I cried myself to sleep the other night. Maybe it is just
stress. I've been wishing for some comfort, a connection. Things with my foster children are really taking a toll on my physical and mental well being.

We have a 4 month old baby since he was 3 days old. I picked him up from the hospital on January 21st, 2011. Baby Peanut looks up at me with love in his eyes. I don't see that in my foster daughters - her hurt runs too deep to even care about anyone but herself, and even caring for herself is a challenge.
Naptime with Peanut - Two months old

Baby Peanut experienced a rather abrupt boarding into his car seat one afternoon this week. It was raining, I slipped, he slid in, bumped his head lightly on car seat arm-beam but didn't cry. Turned around 3 quarters of his body to look for me, to make sure I was okay? That totally deserved kisses, no matter how much It hurt when I skinned my knee on the truck. 

We have a 1% chance of keeping this lovely boy forever. But, it's likely that he will move on. I keep telling myself that Baby Peanut isn't mine - and won't be since day one. It is so hard because that little voice inside my head, that has been there all along, says to me I'm not worthy of having a baby. I don't know what God's plan is, but it sucks. Having someone this small in our lives, who truly loves me and my family, and having to give him away is really hard and disappointing. I keep telling myself I'm a bridge for a young life to find peace. 
I don't know how much we will be involved after he moves, since every time we see him it will break all of our hearts that he couldn't stay with us. I know deep down, being with his brother is likely the best fit. He will be missed greatly and we will all mourn his loss. I can see taking another baby in time. Maybe this is what I was meant to do. Going through menopause at 32 isn't fair, I'd love to have my own children, but that must not be what was meant for me.

"The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”

I don't like:
Always having to raise my voice
Not having anyone listen to instructions
Not having a daughter in my life who respects me or my authority
Not having a deep bond with this person who lives in my home
Not being able to trust

Stealing, lying, hoarding food. All the things I did as a child, but only because my mother didn't care to get out of bed to take care of me.

I meet the needs of my children and that doesn't make a difference. How do I love someone who breaks my heart frequently? I'd like to be more proud of my children. I'd like to be more proud of myself.

I was threatened by my daughter the other morning, when I told her not to wear flipflops to school Wednesday. It's against school dress code. She told me that "I" would need to drive her up shoes if she got caught. The punishment didn't sound fair to me, so I called the school and explained the situation. I'm delighted to get the principal, on the last day of school, to rip my daughter a new one (to tears) over her flipflop wearing. This is why I joined the PTA. It takes an army to raise a child. I take my delights in a different way. Although, someone did earn $5 for every grade she brought up to an A. Which is being credited towards some money she owes me, that was stollen out of my purse, to buy the above snacks at a value of $75 dollars.

“Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.”

Friday, May 27, 2011

Twenty Five Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9

Yes... I stole this mostly, then edited in some of my own rules. Please add any if you like.

For the original article go here:

Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.
By David Lowry, Ph.D.

1) When asking for something, say "Please." 

2) When receiving something, say "Thank you."

3) Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

4) If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

5) When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

6) The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

7) Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.

8) When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

9) When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

10) Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.

11) When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

12) Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive - even if you don't like it. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

13) Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

14) Don't call people mean names. 

15) Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

16) Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

17) If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."

18) Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public. Actually turning and coughing to the floor spreads less germs.

19) As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

20) If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.

21) When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile. Even if it is a smelly gross job.

22) When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!

23) Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

24) Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary. Use a coaster on wood furniture. 

25) Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

I'm sure there are more rules... but this is just for starters.