Play Nice?

I was told yesterday /by my social worker/ that I need to be good and play by the rules or it will hurt me in the end. WTF??? I have no idea where that comment came from. I'm the person who gets mad when people don't play by the rules.

If I'm not nice or accommodating, someone better tell me now. Yeah yeah... we are "in competition" for the baby we have placed with us, and both of us want him to live with us, and each of us has very valid reasons to want him to live with us. So what? We BOTH care about this little boy and want the best for him. When nobody cares about a child... the child suffers. From one foster mother to another -> We care plenty and that's a good thing. I'm sure we both have friends on either side of the fence, telling us both why "we" should get to keep him. This decision is not up to us, or our social workers. It's up to some pannel of people, who have never met the child in question, who get to make the life altering decision. However, these people are suppose to be smart about these kind of things. These are the rules. Say with me in a mocking tone - Hurray for rules!

Almost eight months old now. We are hearing words like "Atka", "Mommy", "Daddy", "Hi", "BB" "Annnan" We think "BB" is for MissyB and "Annnana" is for Nancy the cat.

Our best intrest staffing has a date now for MissyB. I don't know more details other than that. They used to send letters, but they don't now. SRS seems to like to preform more background checks at the last minute I guess. I wonder if they are reading my blog. If so... since you clearly send abused kids back with their abusive parents, and I'm the one who gets hit, because the kid thinks that's normal, so I'm left with bruises and no apologies What a hard job you have. Social workers don't get paid enough.

Oh... more about kids that I didn't birth. The teens want to borrow my truck and  want to decorate it for the Shawnee Mission North Parade, but get me to drive it, since they can't drive. Husband thinks I should ask another friend to offer up his army truck to them. It's way bigger. Although, then I'd need to learn how to drive an army truck. 

*Sigh*

... and I would too... because that's just how accommodating I can be. I never knew teenagers could be so much fun. They know I have a soft spot for them - and I've been promised, by one of the girls, she will bring home her first gay best friend for me to pet and praise, by the end of the school year. I can't wait. I'll wear my "It get's better" Tshirt, if it EVER comes in the mail.

I will be what I want to be... This is who I will become

Commas are too easy to miss. Writing a speech takes patience and time. It also takes stage directions. It's the West Wing for elementary students with big words like Democracy. I wonder if I'll be ghost writing editing more speeches in the future. When we started this exercise, I spent a great deal of teaching her about the famous questions: Who, What, When, Where, Why and How. This was a totally foreign concept of self expression ->  Who are you? What can you do? When will you do it? Where will you do it? Why will you do it? How will you do it?  

1. Keep your hands out of your face.
2. Don't fidget.
3. Look at your entire audience, scan them all from right to left, left to right, more than once.
4. Wink at your best friend when you see her from the stage.
5. Don't speak too fast, speak slowly and controlled. 
6. Read every word, in order. 
7. If you do this - your momma will be proud.

It's a good thing this Poor Ophelia can type fast. As the current treasurer of the PTA in my area, my foster daughter is seeking out a position for herself on the student council. Tomorrow she will deliver the following speech. This two minute speech is doing more than one thing, it will reveal to her world and all her peers:

Who she is

(was)

... And will become 

I wanted to take tonight to do a list of things about why we should become a family, but that plan changed as this had to be finished and polished for tomorrow. Nothing like doing something big at the last minute. 

Now that we finished her speech and when I wake her up tomorrow early - I might throw her in the car with the baby peanut and get her some little girl coffee and a vitamin. She's going to need it.

I never asked her to do this - run for student council. I've only been asking her what she wanted her name to be when she was adopted. Mostly because I wanted to change her middle name, so it flowed like a song. I wanted to name her like she belonged to us, and give her a wonderful name, that suited her first lovely name. Maybe we won't tell my Grama that I named my daughter after the sister she hated most. Or maybe we will, so she can tell her dead sister (who didn't have children) what a wonderful name I did give my child.

As most of you know I'm Brisa from Mrs. Ingraham's sixth grade class. (BREATH, PAUSE )

I'd like serve Rushton as this years twenty eleven / twenty twelve … student council treasurer. (BREATH, PAUSE )

This school means so much to me … after starting here late in the spring… in Ms. Hanson's forth grade class. (BREATH, PAUSE )

As some of you who know me personally ... I'm a foster child and have been in foster care since I was 5 years old. (BREATH, PAUSE )

I've lived in many different places with several different families. (BREATH, PAUSE )

Later this year I will be adopted by my current foster family. (BREATH, PAUSE )

You might know me now as *MissyB* {Blank}. (BREATH, PAUSE )

Later this year... my name will change to *MissyB* Mae Hoober

… H O O - B (as in boy) - ER (BREATH, PAUSE )

I've found my home and I feel like Rushton is like a home to me too. (BREATH, PAUSE )

This school ... students and teachers make it a wonderful place to learn and be accepted. (BREATH, PAUSE )

This will be my last year at Rushton and I'm really going to miss everyone here. (BREATH, PAUSE )

It would be an honor to serve on our student council… helping our school and the students achieve greatness. (BREATH, PAUSE )

As a democracy … everyone in this school has a voice. (BREATH, PAUSE )

A student government should work as a team. (BREATH, PAUSE )

Our student government determines the way in which this school is run. (BREATH, PAUSE )

A government makes laws and creates policies about everything.(BREATH, PAUSE )

As the treasurer … I would be responsible for overseeing how any money the student council …. has .... is spent. (BREATH, PAUSE )

My job would be keeping accurate records of all transactions related to money. (BREATH, PAUSE )

I will also help and listen to all ideas the students of Rushton have… and use my influence to make a difference in our school. (BREATH, PAUSE )

 

I would like to serve as your treasurer… because I know … with my abilities and organizational skills … I can help this school and all of your voices… as the students of Rushton be heard. (BREATH… Wait for applause)

"How comfortable are you about revealing yourself to your peers at school, what do you think about the info about your childhood?" 

"It's all true, the speech needed it." Let's just not say my mother was a crack whore." 

AHHHA! She is MY daughter!!! See... 'cause my mother was is crazy, and I lived with crazy. Ohhh.... we were so meant to be together. When we can poke fun of where we came from, this life is a much better ride.

With this speech, I will become what I set out to become. 

I will be organized. 

I will be looked up too.

I will fix things and make them right.

I will be a role model.

I will be me, but always try to be better.